Tonight, I am one of those people I can’t stand that look at sad things and read sad poems and listen to sad music and be sad.
I suck. I hate it when I do this.
The problem with being someone who “suffers from depression” is that you can’t tell the difference between sad or down or blue and depressed. You don’t know how to just be down because there are so many times when you got down and didn’t get back up. You end up being scared to be sad and suspicious of your own emotions and paranoid that this is more than just ‘regular’ sad so that every time someone asks ‘are you ok?’ you shoot back from the hip with ‘OF COURSE I’M OK-WHY WOULDN’T I BE OK-WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME IF I’M OK!?’.
That’s usually when your inner-jerk whispers “only unstable people scream things like that through their teeth”.
Can you even imagine being stuck in here with this inner-jerk and my logical self arguing all the time? I wish they would just make out and get it over with.
Sorry, girl. I hope you’re back to your happy self soon, although I like to get into the sad every once in a while, too.
Kat´s last blog ..Innocent Questions
Ugh Been here one too many times. I hope this period does not last too long for you, I have found through my own experience that if I can limit my time in that state, its much easier to transition back to a better place when the time comes.
(hugs)
Cat´s last blog ..Flash Friday 55
I know I’m in deep shit with depression when I start to think doomsday thoughts, like that pain in my back just has to be cancer. Hardly anyone really knows about it because I mostly go quiet. Been quiet lately. I’m feeling ya.
witchypoo´s last blog ..AfterBill
I too have been there. And after I yell at someone for the umteenth time that “I’m fine dammit!” I wonder if this is the time when I’ll finally go crazy. Depression sucks.
I’m sorry you’re having a rough time.
((Hugs))
PrincessJenn´s last blog ..EWW, EWWW, EWWWWWW
I know what it’s like to be stuck in there – only mine usually throws in the angry bitch just to mix things up. Hell, if we’re being honest, I’m there right now. Slowly climbing out, I think, but still there.
I’ve just begun saying “I’m fine” – I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to explain, I don’t want to cry. Those that know me don’t believe me, but I think the fear in my eyes and the anger in my voice is enough to keep them from pursuing it.
Kay´s last blog ..Back to School… and other randomness
I’m sorry you’re stuck in that place right now, I know what it’s like to be there, it’s unbearable sometimes. I hope you come out of there soon.
Casey´s last blog ..around the blogs