A strong family history

I have written 5 blog posts while sitting here – all about nothing.

Here’s what I need to write about:

I found a lump in my left breast. I went the doctor, like your supposed to.

She said “I am not overly worried, but with such a strong family history, I want you to have a mammogram”.

That’s verbatim. I quote her, because I have dissected what she said and how she said it over and over and over again, looking for more or less or something else. I know there’s nothing else, she’s always been very honest with me and she never dulls anything down so as not to freak me out. She knows I’ll freak out anyway. She knows that there isn’t anything she could possibly tell me that is worse that what I make up in my head when I don’t have her quotes to obsess about.

It’s probably nothing, because if it were something, she would have just said “You need to get a mammogram” or “I’m concerned” because that’s ok for a doctor to say. That’s their job.Right?

“I am not overly worried, but with such a strong family history, I want you to have a mammogram” and then “Ohh. You are self-pay. Hmm.” because YAY: No insurance. and then “don’t let not having insurance deter you from having this done. This is important.” Shit.

So this morning, I’m online searching for programs that offer mammograms to those of us that cannot pay $300-$500 to have one and $230-$400 to have the results read. Only in this case, “searching for programs that offer mammograms” equals “writing 5 blog posts about nothing”.

Ok, 6 posts, now.