“Hello?”
Yes, hello. Is this Mrs. Messiness?
“Yes.”
Great. Telemarketer.
Mrs. Messiness? Did you get an order from your doctor recently for a medical exam?
“Yes.”
What? Why did you answer that question? Now you’re stuck. Wow, she’s good. Totally tricked me with a surprise question.
Mrs. Messiness? Mrs. Messiness, did your doctor recommend that you have a mammogram? Do you have paperwork that says that she thinks you need a mammogram?
“Um. Yes.”
Strangers asking me about my boobs is weird. Why am I still talking to this person? How do they know to ask these questions? What’s g..
Mrs. Messiness? Do you have medical insurance right now?
“No. What do you wa..”
Mrs. Messiness? We are taking care of all of this for you. I don’t want you to worry. We’re going to pay for that and whatever comes next. You don’t have to worry.
” ..wh.. Why? What?”
Mrs. Messiness, I’m calling from Seton. We are the Austin Cancer Center. We take care of you. We are going to pay for a bilateral mammogram and ultrasound exam, and whatever comes next. Whether that means a biopsy or more tests – whatever comes next, we will take care of you. Can you fax me that order from your doctor? As soon as I get it, I can set your appointment up. Is next week too long to wait?
“Oh. Oh my God. Wow. Thank you. I was just.. I thought that we couldn’t – and in Canada *hiccup* they can – and it’s really *gasp* really expensive – and I was *hiccup* afraid that – because my mom. She had – and I’m *crack* I’ve just been so - *sob sob sob sob* and I *sob* – thank you.”
Mrs. Messiness? We’re going to take care of you. I don’t want you to worry. It’s ok to be afraid – just don’t worry.
..And there you have it. My appointment is on Friday, October 2nd at 10 am. Just like that.
I’m afraid. I admit it – but I am not worried about how to pay for results I don’t want. I know me well enough to know that I would have talked myself out of the appointment all together if I had to figure out where to come up with over a thousand dollars – just to check if something is wrong (I know – that is ridiculously stupid, but welcome to a family of 7 and only one ‘real’ job).
Thank you all for your prayers and good thoughts and happy mojo. Every single piece of it is appreciated.
Oh – and for those of you that insisted that I make a “Squeeze My Boobies” donation button to fund my mammogram – I didn’t want you to feel left out. Since the squeezing of my boobies is paid for, I thought it appropriate that we all go squeeze other boobies at TheBreastCancerSite.com. Here’s your button – don’t wear it out (or do, whatever):
