I’ve realized over the last week that I need to recognize things like that and not feel guilty for feeling good. So today – I feel good, and things are alright.

Today has been 1 week. He is working steps, looking for a sponsor. He said to me today that he was starting . . . → Read More: Today feels good.]]> Today is good.

I’ve realized over the last week that I need to recognize things like that and not feel guilty for feeling good. So today – I feel good, and things are alright.

Today has been 1 week. He is working steps, looking for a sponsor. He said to me today that he was starting to get nervous, because the words were no longer ‘just coming to him’ like they used to when he would speak at meetings. That lately, he opens his mouth and doesn’t know what will come out; and that sometimes nothing does. Then he told me that he used to be ‘the expert’ at talking the talk; that he used to say things that would bring people off their chairs, but that he never came out of his. He said that he feels like it’s his time to shut up and listen and that his is no longer to be the expert, but to be brought up out of his chair. He amazes me everyday.

Recovery has always been a terrifying word for me; it was always about other people and it was always for ‘sick’ people. It was always about change and healing and I never pictured myself in a place where change was ok or where healing was something I needed.

I see now that my own recovery is so severely necessary that I can’t put it off any longer, and that if I want to support him, and our family and our future, I need to get well, too.

1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable.

This one will take some narrowing down.