A strong family history

By Mrs. Messiness, on September 22nd, 2009%

I have written 5 blog posts while sitting here – all about nothing.

Here’s what I need to write about:

I found a lump in my left breast. I went the doctor, like your supposed to.

She said “I am not overly worried, but with such a strong family history, I want you to have a mammogram”.

That’s verbatim. I . . . → Read More: A strong family history

4 comments   monsters, uncategorizableness   ,  

And they all fall down.

By Mrs. Messiness, on March 13th, 2009%

I try so hard to keep painful things tied up in pretty packages. I smash them and squeeze them and force them into tiny corners of imaginary boxes and then try to cover them in the colors of strong and brave and better-than and eventually I can convince myself that they no longer exist . . . → Read More: And they all fall down.

2 comments   we all fall down   , ,  

On being a scaredy-cat

By Mrs. Messiness, on March 3rd, 2009%

I hate it when I realize I am afraid of something. I hate that there are things lurking around in me that control my actions (in inaction, as the case may be) and dictate my every-next move without my permission.

To my computer-geek mind, these unaddressed fears are like a computer . . . → Read More: On being a scaredy-cat

Leave a comment   just act like the normal people & no-one will notice.    

Bring it on.

By Mrs. Messiness, on December 9th, 2008%

I am not sure I have ever voiced this – but the beginnings have always terrified me; endings, not so much. I suppose I have always figured that endings are inevitable – usually sad, but inevitable, just the same. Obviously, the only way to avoid an ending is to avoid the beginnings.. thus my . . . → Read More: Bring it on.

One comment   hear me roar, i am woman   , ,  

Tomorrow will be day one, again.

By Mrs. Messiness, on September 16th, 2007%

I was at work today and he called to tell me he was not ‘ok’.

After ‘yes that’s all there was’ and ‘no there is no more anywhere in the house’ there were two more bottles under the bathroom sink. Empty, now, obviously.

I tell him that if I have to be the sane one in this, . . . → Read More: Tomorrow will be day one, again.

3 comments   we're all sick sometimes   , , ,  

Phase two?

By Mrs. Messiness, on May 30th, 2007%

Well now I have gotten angry because I got scared. I don’t want to be scared – I want to believe that everything is just fine. I want to look at you and know that you are still my rock and that you always stand tall and strong and that you arent afraid of anything or . . . → Read More: Phase two?

Leave a comment   hear me roar, we're all sick sometimes   , , , ,  

Please know this.

By Mrs. Messiness, on May 29th, 2007%

I am not angry.
I am scared. I want you to be ok. I need you to be alright – I need to know that this is not the beginning of you falling – that this is you asking for help. I need to know that you mean it and that you want to not do this . . . → Read More: Please know this.

2 comments   hear me roar, we're all sick sometimes   , ,